Thursday, 22 May 2014

Consistant Agony

There has been no respite in this pain. It has been a few weeks since I fought off a cold, and either my tolerance is waning, or this pain is crossing a new threshold. I am seriously pissed off. I have another two weeks to go before I get to see my consultant again. Two LONG weeks with Trigeminal Neuralgia hell.

My doctor told me to go to hospital if the pain gets too much, but the thoughts of going to the A and E Department tends to bring on a panic attack! I can't go back there, and I am hoping that the consultant has a new plan to deal with this monster.

Pain has had such a negative effect on my life. I think fear, and the fear of more pain is nearly worse. When my attacks get bad, I try and focus, breathe and remember that it will pass. Thinking coherently is really difficult, the pain overwhelms both the mind and the body. Techniques that I have used in the past don't work anymore. I have so many more triggers now too. the slightest breeze or the softest touch are pure torture. It's like I am being burned from the inside out.

I am close to my breaking point. Sleep evades me, and I am surviving on a serious amount of coffee.

Is this anyway to live?

It is 2014, the technology out there is scary. We can send missions to Mars, dive to the deepest depths of the ocean, clone animals and humans as well as all the freaky stuff that can be done that's been kept secret. Why can there be no definitive cure for neurological pain? Tablets only do so much. The side effects are sometimes worse.

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