Thursday, 13 November 2014

Trigeminal Neuralgia Hell

The past few weeks haven't been easy at all. This pain is getting worse, and every time I think to my self, "This pain can't get any worse than this," I have been wrong. 

Seriously wrong. 

I know that Trigeminal Neuralgia is documented as the worse pain known to humankind, but I am telling you living with this shit is pure hell on earth. 

This pain is relentless. It's like there is battery acid eating through my face, as well as an ice pick stabbing me every couple of minutes. I will say this again... this pain is constant. Oh, and lets not forget the electric shocks. I have said this before and I will say this again, I am sick of it. 

I am on five different types of meds, and I can't really take anything else. Painkillers are useless, but sometimes I take them when the pain gets too much hoping that they will help. They never do.

Another thing that pisses me off is this; being told that "it could be worse!" 

Seriously are they mad? It goes to show how little people know and understand about TN. Imagining such pain must be difficult, and I know that before this condition hit me, I wouldn't have understood it myself. Keeping friends is so hard. This condition has had such an impact on my life that going for a coffee, or going to the cinema are impossible most days. Leaving the house is hard, and there are days when I haven't got the strength to get out of bed. When you cancel plans, I have found that the vast majority of people lose interest and I can't blame them. If I didn't have such a great family, and some awesome TN friends, I would be lost. 

I am not lazy, but I feel that I am when I am unable to do the simplest of tasks. Take today for example;
I could barely get out of bed. Moving hurt like a bitch, and every time I moved my head I felt a wave of nausea. The best I could do earlier is put on my favourite TV show, turn the volume down, close the curtains and try and lie down until it passes. This makes me feel like a lazy slob. 

I just want this pain to ease a bit, wanting it to end is too much of an ask, but maybe the doctors will figure out some sort of a cure. There are new and wonderful things being accomplished all the time, so fingers crossed.

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