Three Years of Pain.

It's three years this week since the Trigeminal Neuralgia beast started to hunt me down, and ever since that day it has been stalking me, never leaving me alone. The pain has gradually gotten worse over time, and now it's at an unbelievable level, a level I can't tolerate. 

Doctors have tried and tried to help me, but as of this moment it was all a gigantic waste of time. I don't blame them at all, I know that they have done all that they could. It's this illness. It is monstrous and mysterious. 

So let me talk about the last couple of months. To but it bluntly it has sucked. My pain has changed slightly. The TN pain started on my left side originally, and I have ATN, so it NEVER goes away. About 6 months ago, it started on my right side, but not so bad at first. Now, it is a rival to my left side. How the hell can two Trigeminal Nerves screw up at the same time? Every moment is torture, some days are better than others, but on the whole, the burning and stabbing pain is always there. I can't forget about those shocks either, they invade my life regularly. There are days when the shocks are almost constant. 

One fairly new symptom is a crushing pain in my head, with most of the pain targeted over my eyes. Light bothers me a lot too, and sometimes I feel physically sick. It's not often that the nausea takes over though and I am thankful for that. My balance is wonky too. 

I have looked up the new symptoms and it sounds like cluster headaches. I have already been diagnosed as having Migraines, so this latest addition pisses me off. I will talk about this to my pain specialist on my next appointment. My GP is powerless to amend my medication, and he is reluctant to prescribe anything else. 

I dread to think about how I will feel this time next year. Will the pain continue to spiral out of control, OR will one of my Consultants figure out a way to help? I have to keep on hoping. All of us who have been ravaged by this sadistic illness have to keep hoping and to never give up! 

Our Awareness Day on October 7th is all about raising the public perception of this illness, and it is global. There are fantastic places Lighting Up Teal all over the world, including 15 in Ireland. A team of dedicated TN sufferers have committed themselves to creating worldwide awareness, and it is coming along nicely. The full list can be found on the TNNME website. 

TNNME - Light Up Teal 2016