My meds are increasing all the time, so is it weird that the aren't working? Or, how much pain would I be in if I wasn't taking anything? This is not a question I want to answer.
I try to rest as much as I can, I have tried to get out of the house and do stuff and I have tried to push the pain away. It's impossible. I thought if I got out of the house perhaps the distraction would help. I can tell you what happened. I walked like a drunkard, the world was spinning around me, and the pain was even worse! My eye was twitching and I looked peculiar. I have a blown pupil on my right side (my TN side is my left). When I am in a terrible storm of pain, the pupil difference is obvious. Sometimes when I wear my glasses it isn't as noticeable, but I can't wear them now as they hurt my face. So I can't see very well.
Considering I may not find a solution for quite some time, I have to live my life. I am trying to find a way. I hate being locked inside my house for days at a time, especially this time of year and the fucking wind is my mortal enemy. I hate being unable to work, and I despise being dependent on family to take care of me.
Not too long ago, I was a worker bee. I loved working, even when I changed careers. I thrived in the workplace and I always envisioned myself as having a good work ethic. I want that back.
I know there are people out there suffering so much more than I am, and I hate to whine.
I am trying not to take that fecking Oxynorm. It doesn't make any difference, but it does help me sleep for a few hours. I don't think that is what Oxynorm is for though. That's another thing, I don't get a good nights sleep anymore. It's just ridiculous, and there are no quick answers.
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