Sunday, 22 February 2015

Worst Pain Ever

Since my last post, I have suffered through the WORST pain I have ever felt. I don't know what's going on in my skull, but the pain is terrible. 

My meds are increasing all the time, so is it weird that the aren't working? Or, how much pain would I be in if I wasn't taking anything? This is not a question I want to answer.


I try to rest as much as I can, I have tried to get out of the house and do stuff and I have tried to push the pain away. It's impossible. I thought if I got out of the house perhaps the distraction would help. I can tell you what happened. I walked like a drunkard, the world was spinning around me, and the pain was even worse! My eye was twitching and I looked peculiar. I have a blown pupil on my right side (my TN side is my left). When I am in a terrible storm of pain, the pupil difference is obvious. Sometimes when I wear my glasses it isn't as noticeable, but I can't wear them now as they hurt my face. So I can't see very well.


Considering I may not find a solution for quite some time, I have to live my life. I am trying to find a way. I hate being locked inside my house for days at a time, especially this time of year and the fucking wind is my mortal enemy. I hate being unable to work, and I despise being dependent on family to take care of me. 


Not too long ago, I was a worker bee. I loved working, even when I changed careers. I thrived in the workplace and I always envisioned myself as having a good work ethic. I want that back. 


I know there are people out there suffering so much more than I am, and I hate to whine. 


I am trying not to take that fecking Oxynorm. It doesn't make any difference, but it does help me sleep for a few hours. I don't think that is what Oxynorm is for though. That's another thing, I don't get a good nights sleep anymore. It's just ridiculous, and there are no quick answers. 



5 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I am seeing a neurosurgeon in March, so fingers crossed that he will have a plan of action!

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  2. Thank you for sharing your experience with pain.To know about the treatment of pain consult pain management clinics in nashville tn

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  4. I am the exact same way!! I never leave the house and it's awful. Pain makes it impossible to function and live a normal life. So sorry to hear it's the same for you.

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