Saturday 11 October 2014

Stopping the Tears

Well, my eye sight is freaking me out again. Yep, the sight in my left eye is almost gone. The pain is seriously getting worse and worse. I wrote about my pain a while back, and it is even worse now. Trigeminal Neuralgia is a merciless bitch, and I am sick of it. 

I don't know how much pain my body can take. My eye sight is failing, and the question I have is this, what next? 

At the moment, I want to beat my head off my bedroom wall, I have seriously given it a lot of thought, it's not like my pain can get any worse, right??

Perhaps that is not the best idea, but honestly, the left side of my face is on fire. It is like someone is dipping me into a huge furnace, face first. Of course, the burning isn't enough, but every minute or so, I get a shock so bad that I almost yell out. Bolts of lightning are seriously going off in my head. The stabbing in my ear and the vice like pressure in my head in enough to make me crumble. Don't get me started on my teeth...

Crying makes everything 10 times worse, the tears feel like lava flowing down my face and the pressure in my head increases. It's a serious struggle to stop the tears. 

But, my eyes. It is seriously scaring me. I got about 2 hours sleep last night, but when I was woken up, I almost couldn't see. It's frightening. 

What are my options? Go to hospital? 

Waste of fucking time. 

This entire condition has torn my life to shreds, and now, TN is continuing to  rip those shreds apart. Medications are seriously useless, only stupid and scary side effects have taken over. 

What am I supposed to do?? 

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