Saturday, 4 October 2014

Mascara Madness!

Why does a single layer of mascara simulate a punch in the face?

Putting on make up while suffering from Trigeminal Neuralgia isn't easy. As a matter of fact, simple grooming is torture. Some days my pain is tolerable, and on those days I put on my face and try and get things done, but as time goes by these "good" days are becoming quite rare. 

So I was in a lot of pain a few days ago, but I had to run errands. I decided to forego my usual make up routine and opt for a little mascara and lip gloss. I swept the mascara wand over my lashes and it felt like I was punched in the face. I was brought to my knees and I was convinced that when I looked into the mirror I would have a bruise. 

Nope, no bruise.

Dealing with this "invisible illness" is not easy, especially when such pain rips apart your insides and leaves no trace on the outside. With me though there is a slight trace. I have an enlarged pupil and when I am going through a particular bad attack, my pupil expands until my eye looks black. I think it's creepy. My face does swell also, and my left ear goes red, like it's been sunburned.

Would life be easier if what we feel could be visible to everyone else? I don't believe so, but this is why we need awareness.

I find that if I tell people I have "a neurological disorder" or "nerve pain in my head" they look at me differently. Do they think that I am going to keel over any second? Probably.

Trying to hide the pain by putting on make up, doing my hair and plastering a smile on my face is getting too hard to do. I can't even put on a layer of mascara on a bad day! Some women don't wear make up, but I always have and I don't like going anywhere without my war paint on.

So, I have to either go through agonising pain and look half decent, or forget it and look like crap everyday.

This may seem like a silly thing to worry about, but imagine things that you take for granted are taken away from you, without warning, and you have to go through unbearable pain instead. It's not nice.

On October 7th, landmarks around the globe are supporting us by Lighting up Teal for International Trigeminal Neuralgia Awareness Day. We need awareness, understanding and hopefully a cure. 

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